Friday, May 15, 2015

Overprotected?

A letter to my children in response to an accusation that I am an overprotective mom.

My "little" ones, I assure you, I am not trying to ruin your life; sorry for the confusion.

I am not trying to steal your joy, but to preserve it. I am not trying to take away all the fun, but to help ensure that you make well-thought out decisions so as to avoid as many preventable mistakes as possible.

I know that I can't save you from everything, and I can't protect you from everything. Quite honestly, that isn't my intention (though if there was a way to do this, I would definitely do it).  Nevertheless, some people have argued with me that I am doing you an injustice with my "overprotection" because you need to be in the "real world."

However, I disagree. I am trying to give you strong roots. Roots grounded in the Lord, in truth, and in grace. I want you to have a strong relationship with the Lord with confidence that you can defend your beliefs in the harsh world that would love no more than to tear you apart.

Personally, I know the "real world," and I know you will be in it for a very long time. If I can shelter you from some of the evil of the world for awhile, I don't see how that is such a bad thing.

We discuss the evils of the world; you are informed. We talk about the issues of drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, crime, premarital sex, bullying,... etc. You learn about these issues and are able to discuss them with us logically, rationally, and maturely without actually having the practical application for these topics, which, to me, seems like a better medium.

You want to know why most other children your age have their own cell phones, computers, and even cars. Why other children your age are allowed to have girlfriends and boyfriends. My sweets, I can see why these questions would surface. I know you may not understand right now, but please know that our intentions are pure. We truly are trying to do what is best for you, and I pray that you will understand.

I cannot answer for anyone but me, but I want you to know that I am trying to help you. I will be always be honest with you. We want you to have a relationship with us where you can feel free to talk to us about anything and know that we love you with all our hearts. We desire to give you godly wisdom, and we want what is best for you.

For now, you may not understand. And, there is a chance that when you are out "on your own" you may choose to do some or all the things that I have tried to help you avoid, and that will be your choice. Hopefully, we will have given you all the information about the decisions and the consequences of your choices ahead of time, so that you may make informed (and hopefully wise) decisions.

If you choose to disregard our advise, that is up to you. Of course, we will still always love you.

Our intentions are not to control you, but to help you. We want to share the wisdom that we have received, through our own experiences and the experiences of others around us, so that you will not make the same mistakes that we and others have made.

Bad things will happen and mistakes will be made, because everyone makes mistakes. And that is where that need for grace and mercy comes in.

We love you, and the Lord loves you even more. I pray that He will give us wisdom in how to teach you, and that He would give you wisdom, discernment, and courage to make good choices. I pray that grace and mercy abound, and that you would know how much your father and I love you!